Mozzarella Cheese Sticks

I knew that the hardest thing about buckling down and getting a personal trainer wouldn't be the working out, though that was a beast. It was going to be the food.

I. Love. Food.

I love to cook it. I love to experiment. I love going out to eat. I even love fast food. My main temptation? Anything deep fried; french fries, mozzarella sticks, onion rings, deep fried mushrooms, fried chicken, boneless BBQ wings... Holy Moses.

Plus, we have to eat every 2-3 hours. I didn't realize how inconvenient this was. Either I have to prepare a whole bunch at the beginning of the week, or I have to stop whatever I am doing, and every two hours go cut up fruit, veggies, or chicken.

The thing is, I don't want to ever weigh this much again. I don't want to ever have to do this again. So I need to make sure its a lifestyle change. My main rule is "Everything in Moderation". That way, if I go to a family BBQ, I can have a hamburger  and some potato salad, but no seconds. Only one cookie, instead of 10.

But darn, how I miss cheese sticks.

First Workout

An hour of basketball feels like 15 minutes.  An hour on a treadmill feels like a weekend in traffic school.  ~David Walters

This may be the truest statement I have heard in a while. I thought I was getting in shape and doing good because I play basketball for a couple hours a week. It feels like only minutes that I am out there playing. My workout today lasted less time than I play basketball for, and it felt like ages.

A friend at school does personal training, so I hired him. Today, he came over and we did weights workout for an hour (including squats & lunges which SUCK), and then ran for 2o minutes... Well, kinda. 10 minutes, and walked the rest because I am so outta shape.

At least my husband is there helping me. Both of us are already sore and tired, but I keep telling him it is worth it. Sometime soon, hopefully, this will be worth it.

Hal

Dear Hal,

I miss you.

Some days more than others. Today was one of those days. Sundays just haven't quite been the same since you passed away. There is a spark gone, passion lost, a missing voice.

I miss the hugs, and the smiles, and your laugh. I miss your singing. You were a leader. You showed everyone the way to go, how to live, what worshiping Jesus truly meant.

There is something missing without you. Heaven is lucky.

Wild Week

25 bug bites, sun burnt, and exhausted, but so worth it. Youth summer camp ended yesterday, and I already miss it. 

Wild Week is a camp my uncle started in Florence, OR. It is a packed 4 days of anything and everything with some Jesus thrown in there. This year we were treated with sandboarding (let me tell you -its harder than it looks), paintball, mini golf, a trip to a water park, and a concert from Christian rap artist Braille. Check his music out here: http://www.facebook.com/braille

We had home cooked food including enchiladas, cheesecake, rolls, peanut butter and chocolate rice krispie treats, etc. There were team games, pirates, bounty hunters, scavenger hunts, disc golf... I could go on forever. 

I am so blessed to be a part of this camp. Between my uncle, the speaker, the leaders, and the kids, I was changed this week. Pictures will be up on my facebook soon, but here is one of our group after camp ended.

FINALLY

Holy smokes. I am ecstatic right now.

WE ARE GOING TO AFRICA!

Its no longer a dream, a wish, a hope - it is happening.

Today, we bought tickets. December 26-January 14. We are going to Lugazi, Uganda to work with a missionary there named Hudson Suubi. He runs an orphanage there called God's House of Miracles. Here is a link if you want to check out some pictures and what not:
http://www.godshouseofmiracles.com/

This was a total God thing. We have tried for 3 years now to raise money and figure out where we were going to go. People have given us prayer, money, and support and finally we get to go.

I want to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone who has supported us emotionally, financially, spiritually, and whatever other way you have been a part of this. I want to apologize that it has taken so darn long to get everything in order, but I believe this is exactly how God has had it planned the entire time.

I am sure this isn't the last time you will get to hear me be excited about this. :)

Others

Someday I would like to be a mother. Not just from my own flesh and blood, but adopting as well. Being a blogger, I like to read others' online outlets and have stumbled upon a couple I'd like to share with you.

Grace is a woman I knew from my hometown. One of my closest friends is her sister, and it has been awesome to read about her experience of raising a child in a foreign country. Here is her link:
http://arms-wide-open.squarespace.com/about-me/

Then there is Lori. She is the mother of 5 (almost 6) and I love her candid honesty about the adoption process. She has a little girl from Kazakhstan, one from China and another one on her way from China. This is a GREAT one to check out!
http://fiveofmyown.blogspot.com/p/our-story.html

Any women out there, mothers, or future mothers, will appreciate these ladies. :)

Why

Sometimes I wish I could understand God. Just one time, maybe two, I could get into that mind of His and see the bigger picture and understand why things happen the way they do.

With all the power, all the knowledge in the universe, how in the world do these things happen? Babies dying, poverty, suicide, rape... The list just keeps going on and on and on. It makes me angry. It makes me beyond sad.

But then I think, why? If God could fix it, why doesn't He? Because He lets us choose. We chose way back in time, sin - our own way. He had it all planned out, and sin took over because we let it. He isn't the one to blame... We are. Sin is. Satan is.

I can't wait for heaven. Babies don't die there. Sickness is not allowed there. Rape is non-existent there. sometimes I am not sure how much longer the world can survive all of this.

‘Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ Isaiah 41:10

I love this man.

Authentic

After 21 years of being on earth and all of those trying to to find out who I am and who God is, right now is the most authentic relationship I have ever had with Jesus.

Growing up in the church, it is so hard to ask questions sometimes - How do we know the Bible is true? Can we take everything it says as legit? Where's the proof?

As a church kid, I have always felt so guilty asking this. How could I question the God who gave His life for me? Does that make me a horrible person? An unforgivable Christian? I feel like Thomas. John 20 talks about him starting in verse 24.

"Now Thomas... one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!” But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”

I feel like I need the proof, I need to put my finger where the nails are and my hand in His side in order to believe it. I have suppressed this need for evidence for a long time. But the doubts have resurfaced as of late, and its time I deal with them, especially since I am in ministry, and I am devoting my education and life to this God.  So I better get it figured out.

If you have ever had any doubts like I have, don't be afraid to share it with me because I am going to be spending some serious time figuring out answers to a lot of questions. Maybe soon my faith will be solid.

To Faye

Dear Faye,

Yesterday marked a year you have been gone. I miss you more than most people know and I know there are people who miss you even more. Working at Home Place with you for those few short months was one of the greatest things that has happened to me. You taught me a lot, even though you probably had no idea how much I was learning from you.

It makes me sad that you won't get to see the fireworks. They remind me of you. Colorful. Powerful. Exciting.

I can't believe how much I miss you. One year and it seems like it was just yesterday we were laughing over a customer or a pizza. The memories we made and the lessons I learned from you won't be forgotten.

R.I.P.

6:30 am

6:30 is a darn early time.

Who knew it was so bright outside? I didn't until this morning. I decided it was a good idea to start walking/jogging/running... something... in the morning since I have no gym membership and this fat doesn't come off by itself unfortunately.

So my husband, my friend Jenny, and I met at the South Albany Track this morning and began day one.

Am I tired? Yup. Do I hate 6:30 am? Yup. Am I excited that I am on track again? Yup.

Hopefully this will stick. Thinking about buying Zumba to do too. Any good or waste of money?