Motivation from a Stranger

Wednesday night, Daimian and I found ourselves at the gym, like we normally are around 10 o'clock. With him opening at Starbucks recently, I will not get up at 4 am to go to the gym before he has to leave at 5 to go to work. Not happening.

We have found that we really enjoy swimming. Daimian has always loved to swim. His grandma said she used to call him a fish because he has always loved water. I have a very irrational fear of drowning, so water has never been my thing. I'll take shooting hoops on dry land, thank you very much.

But, I figured in a pool that is not deeper than I am tall, I think I should be fine. With my bad knees from all that shooting hoops on dry land stuff, the treadmill just wasn't working. So, we started swimming. First off, I had no clue it was going to be such a good work out. I am sore! But I don't feel it or think about it as much when I am in the pool as I did on the treadmill.

So back to Wednesday.... We were in the pool swimming laps and using the spongy weight things (that I can lift with my pinky out of water, but in water burn my muscles...) for about a half an hour when a man came in who had to be at least 400 pounds. He got in the pool and did lap after lap after lap without stopping. He didn't take breaks. He was breathing hard. His face was red. But he just kept going. And going. And going. I looked at myself, and I had so many excuses about my legs being sore, I'm too tired, or the water makes me nauseous. But this man kept going. If he could do it, good Lord, I should be able to. So I pushed harder. I went faster. I did more laps.

Now, I want to go every day. Thursdays, we don't go because between school and youth group, it is a full day. But today, I want to go. It's the first time I have wanted to go. Its not just a chore, but a doable activity that can help me reach my goal and is a lot more fun than a treadmill. And all because of this man, this stranger who I don't know his name, but he's helped me see things outside of myself.

So, thank you, stranger.

I wish I had a Cupcakery...

Sometimes I like to post food recipes I find on here... This isn't a food blog, but cooking and baking have become quite a passion. The Food Network is on all day at my home. Anyone ever seen Cupcake Wars? I wish I had a cupcakery... 


A girl can dream....


Today I tried my hand at my first batch of cupcakes. I even made my own frosting. 


You'll need:

• CUPCAKES:
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 4 eggs
• 1 cup vegetable oil
• 1/2 cup maple syrup
• 3 cups grated carrots
• 
  
• FROSTING:
• 1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
• 1/4 cup butter, softened
• 1/4 cup maple syrup
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 tablespoon cinnamon

In a large bowl, combine the first six ingredients. 

In another bowl, beat eggs, oil and syrup. Stir into dry ingredients just until moistened.

Fold in carrots. Fill greased or paper-lined muffin cups two-thirds full. (Some of mine may have been too full... Oops.)

Bake at 350 degrees F for 20-25 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. Cool for 5 minutes before removing from pans to wire racks. (I definitely filled these too full.)

For frosting, combine cream cheese, butter, syrup and vanilla in a mixing bowl; beat until smooth. Frost cooled cupcakes.

I put the cream cheese in a Ziploc bag, cut off the corner, and tried to pipe it on to the cupcakes. Let me tell you, it looks a lot easier on TV, but I don't think I did too bad... And these little babies are divine. Please enjoy :)

7 pounds

No, this is not a post about one of Will Smith's worst movies ever...


It is the number of pounds I have lost in 3 weeks.


At first, I was disappointed when I weighed myself this morning because 7 pounds doesn't seem like a lot. Watching the Biggest Loser, they can lose 7 pounds in just 1 week, not 3. But then I remember, I don't live with personal trainers, my very own gym, or a nutritionist. I don't have time to work out 7-8 hours a day. So 7 pounds is good. My goal was 2 1/2 pounds a week, and I am only a half a pound away from that, so I think I have done well. 


Thank you to everyone who has left comments on here or on Facebook. It means so much to know people care about my getting healthy. My husband has been a great support and pushing me to go to the gym and make healthy food choices, even when I don't want to. My friends Mindy and Julianne have also been great, keeping me accountable and giving me great tips. 


This is finally becoming a reality... I might actually be at my goal weight by the end of the summer. 
There is light at the end of the tunnel. 
I can do this. 
I am so ready to do this and be done with this.

I can't wait until I no longer look like this...

Love is...

I know Valentine's Day was yesterday, but I thought I would write about my husband and I anyway because I like to think that it doesn't matter if it's Valentine's Day or not, our love is expressed daily. 

LOVE IS...

...waking up next to you every morning (even if you steal all my blankets making my toes frozen by morning).

...the roses you bring me, just because it's Tuesday.

...all the Target shopping you let me do :)

...our discussion about politics, God, America, Uganda, youth, and oh so much more making this  a deep and intelligent relationship.

...never giving up on each other no matter how hard things get.

...when I cook the pancakes and you cook the eggs because you're way better at sunny-side-up then I am.

...constantly texting even when you're at work because we want to talk to each other that bad

...watching all our shows because we go to bed cuddled up on the love seat with my snuggie

..."helping" the referees together at basketball games

...planning our future in two different countries

...every single day that God gives me with you

I couldn't agree more, Mr. Colbert

Self-Portrait Challenge

I love this self-portrait challenge from The Paper Mama... Thought I would give it a shot as I take a break from homework. 

Currently:

Obsessing over…

Losing these 2.5lbs a week, helping plan my sister and best friends weddings, and getting a new car. 

Working on…

Getting caught up on my homework (Yes, I am still behind from my Uganda excursion).. and getting my mind off my constant deep-fried food cravings. 

Thinking about…

My plans for after I graduate with my bachelors, this new adventure we are on in our new home and new town...

Anticipating…

Star Wars 3D this evening, Valentines Day (I am doing the planning and the surprising for my hubby this year), Daimian's birthday (Which also hopefully includes a Blazer game), and (cross-my-fingers) a Spring Break trip...

Listening to…

Currently, I am catching up on the latest episode of The Bachelor. Music wise, I am thoroughly enjoying Jesus Culture, The Civil Wars, Adele, and the newest Nickelback CD.

Eating…

WAY healthier. No more ice cream or deep fried food (God, help us). Our fridge is packed with yummy fruits and veggies. Subway has become a delicious friend of ours when we go out, especially in February because any footlong is $5! My body is really feeling better with the healthy grub. Pinterest just has many recipes.. Tonight, I am going to try to cook brussel sprouts for the first time.. Wish me luck!

Wishing...

My husband didn't have to work so much, ministry wasn't so hard and discouraging sometimes, and my apartment would unpack itself.

What I Love Wednesday

I love my husband. I love how hard working he is, how he does what is necessary to do God's will, make me happy, and to take care of us. He loved his Starbucks in Albany, and was dreading coming to a Salem store, but he did anyway. He works hard so I am happy.

I love our best friends, Jeff and Jenny. I love that we can come to them with any and everything and know that we can get Godly advice, love, and, of course, a whole lot of laughter.

I love my brother from another mother, Berry. We give each other a hard time, but honestly, he is not just a friend, but family. I don't even want to think about where I would be without him all these years.

Oh, and of course, let's not forget french fries, American Idol, Spotify, our new apartment, and losing weight :)

Our First Home

Today, we move. Not very far. We are in the same state, the same part of the state, just a town about 40 minutes down I-5. We don't own the house we are moving out of. In fact, it is just an apartment. But there is a ball of bittersweet emotions developing in my heart at this moment.

This was the first home my husband and I shared together. We decorated it, cleaned it, lived in it, together, as newlyweds. This town became our first town together. And now, we move to our second home. which will also be great. We will decorate it, clean it, live in it, together. But there is something about your first home that you are allowed to get a little sentimental about.

So as I finish packing the last few boxes and making the trip up and down the stairs over and over today, I will grateful for the time my husband and I spent in our first home as a married couple, this little apartment 84.

Courage

My husband is the greatest thing in my life. He makes me better, he challenges me, he loves me unconditionally, he adores me, he takes care of me.. The list goes on and on. But while this is the greatest thing in my life, it could quickly turn into the scariest and the worst.

Recently, I have been confronted with death pretty heavily. One of my professors was told just this last week that his wife has cancer and will only live for 2 more years. A girl I went to school with died unexpectedly only 2 weeks ago. I realized that at any moment, the unexpected could happen. My husband has a heart problem and though he is only 21, it could effect him without us even knowing.

I am not trying to be morbid, it was just an awakening for me these past few days that this man that I have fallen in love with, but even more than that have shared my everything with, could be taken from me and I would have no way of stopping it. My loving him and my sharing my everything with him one day could make this relationship the most painful and scariest thing I ever did.

So to me, this love, this marriage, this happiness I have found is the riskiest thing I have ever done. But it is worth it. So worth it. I would never wish to have never met him or never fallen in love with him just so one day I wouldn't feel the pain of losing him. This love and this happiness far outweighs the pain I will feel one day. And so I will live today, in the moment, with him. I will love him better, tell him more often, fight less, enjoy each day and each breath we share together. I will not focus on the pain I will feel some day. Just the happiness he brings me now.

To me this is courage. Love takes courage. Marriage takes courage. Happiness takes courage. So much courage.

3 Months

My best friend is getting married in 3 months.
And I want to look darn good as her matron of honor.
So, I have gone extreme.

If you know me, you know that besides Daimian, Jesus, Family/Friends, and The Office, I love deep fried food and soda. French fries, cheese sticks, deep fried zucchini, Applebees boneless wings..... Mt. Dew, Diet Coke, Squirt... Holy canoli, I am salivating.

Anyways, those things obviously will not help me look good in my dress in May (p.s. my theory is, in heaven, celery makes you fat and cheese sticks make you lose weight... I need to talk to the Lord about this.)

So I have given up soda until May. None. Zip. Nada. No more fries from Burger King or Red Robin or Dairy Queen. No more Arby's curly fries. No more Applebees.

Sigh.

But already, its helped! And though I know I will have a fry again someday, it won't be in between now and May. For the time being, I am getting extreme, biggest loser style nutrition. I even enlisted my friend, Mindy, to hold me accountable to working out and eating right and give me as many tips as she can think of, and it is so much help!

Bring it, May 19. I am going to look smokin' hot!

Haunted

Uganda haunts me.

It has haunted me from the moment I stepped foot into the country, and it continues 2 weeks after I have returned home.

My life is haunted by this place, this country so far away.

The children's faces stare at me in my dreams. The smells permeate my nostrils. I can feel the fear of seeing the police with their AK-47s strapped to their shoulder. I can hear "muzungu" as we walk down the streets. I can feel the bumpiness of the roads to the villages. I can see the wrinkles the sun and hardship has left on the faces of the elderly. The children walking up hills with jerrycans full of water on their head and their feet bare...

I don't know how to deal with all this. I can't sleep. Very few people understand what this feels like. And I struggle with how to help Uganda right now. I want to be doing something even though I am not in Africa. I want to help.

I have to do something.

I am going to lose my mind.