Je t'aime, World.

In the last week, it seems as though the world has gone nuts. Terrorists killing almost 200 people in Paris, bombings in the Middle East, so many dead at a Kenyan university, earthquakes... It has been a somber week, one of reflection for myself and I am sure, many others.

The other night, on my way home, I had to pull over off the side of the road because I couldn't see through the tears. It was raining, it was dark, and I was in the car alone. I began to pray for the world, for Paris, for Kenya, for Lebanon... My heart broke as soon as I spoke the first word to the Lord and I just could not stop crying. So, I pulled my car over and let the tears flow, I kept praying, asking God to heal, to bring peace, to bring wisdom, to show us His heart in all of this chaos. 

Then my heart broke more; I realized that while we are sad about what's happening, Jesus is even more so. He sees the hatred for each other, and this is not how it was designed. He sees each individual person, each one who passes away, each one who is injured, and yes, each one who kills. Then I felt guilty, because I began to cry for the murderers. I cried because I cannot imagine living in such a way as to hate so much. I cried because they died believing in something that wasn't true. I cried because they killed themselves in the name of something that isn't real. And now they will spend eternity separated from what is truth, Jesus. What a terrible life. What a terrible death. 

This isn't how it was supposed to be. God loves every person, He created every person, every race, both genders, each language, all cultures, but not for this purpose. His heart breaks, and so my heart breaks. He grieves, so I grieve. 

"If My people, who are called by My name, will humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land." 

2 Chronicles 7:14

Ten Things

Ten Things You Didn't Know About Me:

1.) I got married when I was 6 years old to a boy named Jordan. He gave me a ring from his cupcake, we walked down the aisle at my church in Silverton, and my friend Tim officiated. It didn't last long though... I think maybe until the next time we saw each other a couple days later, which is still almost longer than Kim Kardashian & Kris Humphries...

2.) Speaking of Kim K, I LOVE reality TV. I would much rather watch it than movies... Chopped, Amazing Race, Survivor, Project Runway, Keeping Up With The Kardashians, and my guilty pleasure, The Bachelor... 

3.) If I could go back in time for a week and relive it, I would go back to my senior year of high school when my great-grandma was still alive, I got to play basketball again with my girls, and life was much, much simpler. I miss those days. 

4.) I am allergic to coconut. I break out in a large rash if I eat it, use lotion or soap that has it in it, drink it... So I light a lot of coconut scented candles and melts.

5.) If I could be anything in another life, I think I would be a fashion designer.  I love the whole idea, I love designing, and I think Tim Gunn and I would get along splendidly. 

6.) My favorite food in the entire world is fried things.... Mozzarella sticks, fried zucchini, fried chicken, fried pickle chips, french fries.... Greasy, delicious, wonderful, hot, amazing food... I would choose it over dessert every time. 

7.) My favorite animal in the world is a monkey. VERY closely behind them is manatees and orcas.

8.) I do not like having no cell service. It makes me feel claustrophobic. 

9.) I have a confession - I don't like camping. I would much rather stay in a hotel and explore somewhere than sleep in a tent. 

10.) If I could live anywhere, it would be at the very top of a building with almost no walls, just windows, so I can look out over the lights and land.