Je t'aime, World.

In the last week, it seems as though the world has gone nuts. Terrorists killing almost 200 people in Paris, bombings in the Middle East, so many dead at a Kenyan university, earthquakes... It has been a somber week, one of reflection for myself and I am sure, many others.

The other night, on my way home, I had to pull over off the side of the road because I couldn't see through the tears. It was raining, it was dark, and I was in the car alone. I began to pray for the world, for Paris, for Kenya, for Lebanon... My heart broke as soon as I spoke the first word to the Lord and I just could not stop crying. So, I pulled my car over and let the tears flow, I kept praying, asking God to heal, to bring peace, to bring wisdom, to show us His heart in all of this chaos. 

Then my heart broke more; I realized that while we are sad about what's happening, Jesus is even more so. He sees the hatred for each other, and this is not how it was designed. He sees each individual person, each one who passes away, each one who is injured, and yes, each one who kills. Then I felt guilty, because I began to cry for the murderers. I cried because I cannot imagine living in such a way as to hate so much. I cried because they died believing in something that wasn't true. I cried because they killed themselves in the name of something that isn't real. And now they will spend eternity separated from what is truth, Jesus. What a terrible life. What a terrible death. 

This isn't how it was supposed to be. God loves every person, He created every person, every race, both genders, each language, all cultures, but not for this purpose. His heart breaks, and so my heart breaks. He grieves, so I grieve. 

"If My people, who are called by My name, will humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land." 

2 Chronicles 7:14