Panic

My husband needs a new computer. I need a new job. I think we will have $13 after we pay rent. The car needs a tune-up. I have a few thousand dollars worth of debt I need to start paying on.

This is just life, right?

Money sucks. Sometimes being an adult sucks.

In my head, I know I don't have to be worried. We are always taken care of. Always. And I have gotten a lot better about not panicking. But today, I am in panic mode. It is so hard to transfer that knowledge from my head to my heart sometimes.

Breathe. Trust. Patience. Relax.... So much easier said than done.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"

Matthew 6:25-26

Like We Are Called

The Cost of Ministry

Saturday my best friend married my husband's best friend.
This week, she will return from her honeymoon and travel 3 hours away from me to make her new home with her new husband and join him as youth pastor at a church on the coast.

I am beyond excited for her. Marriage has been the biggest blessing in my life. Ministry has been another huge blessing for me.

Am I sad? Absolutely.

This move means that she will be 3 hours away. This move means we will no longer see each other at school. This move means that the girl in my life who has become my best friend and the man who has become my husband's closest friend is gone.

Why 3 hours away? Because they are youth pastors. And the coast is where God has called them. Don't get me wrong... I am excited for them. Jeff is a great youth pastor. And they have a great thing going on. But in my selfishness I hate that they are so far away. Jenny has never been this far away. She has always been just a small drive away.

This is not the first person in my life who has moved far away because of ministry. I am finding that this happens all the time in ministry. My first youth pastor is now a missionary in Germany. A friend of ours is now in Portland working as a children's pastor. Someday we will be called somewhere else too.

I guess this is just the cost of ministry.

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I had a normal job. If my friends had a normal job. We could raise our babies together, go on double dates, go to church together... But that isn't what I was put on earth to do. Ministry is what I am meant to do. And so I will do it. I will sacrifice because Christ first sacrificed for me. I will put effort into keeping a close relationship with Jenny and Jeff with an understanding that they are where God wants them and Daimian and I are where God wants us.

Sometimes the cost of ministry is tough. But it is something I am willing to pay.

My Best Friends Wedding

A few pictures from one of the most bittersweet days I have ever had. More on that later.

I love this woman.

We're sexy and we know it...

Our besties

The boys. This pretty much sums up their bromance.

True Love

I am passionate about marriage.

I love it.

I am passionate about divorce. 

I hate it.

I think one of the most tragic things suffocating America today is divorce. 

But this video punches divorce in the face.

It says to those people who have "fallen out of love" and have "irreconcilable differences" to get over it.

This is true love. This is marriage and love the way that God designed it. 

Guilty Pleasures

We all have them. I probably have a few more than most people. But I thought I would share a few of mine with you.

French Fries
I have heard the question, "What would be your last meal on earth?" This is my answer: French fries with ranch. If I were dying, I would want curly fries from Arby's, french fries from Dairy Queen, french fries from Burger King, and of course Red Robin french fries. And a whole lotta ranch. Can you tell I love these greasy little guys?

Teen Mom
Working with teenagers, this show is fascinating to me. Since watching the first episode, I am now all caught up in their lives, them and their adorable babies. I watch it religiously.

Enrique Iglesias
This is not one that I share with everyone because it is a tad embarrassing, but lets be real... Every girl loves "Hero" whether they admit it or not.

College Basketball
March Madness is like Christmas for me. I fill out not one, but several brackets, and Saturday mornings are dedicated to doing work in front of my television playing games. I even give up my cooking shows for these games...

Powell's Bookstore
Have you been in this place? It is entire street blocks of books. Every book in the world is in there and they are cheap! I don't consider myself a bookworm, but I could be if I visited Powell's often enough.

Class of 2012

Last night I got to watch the graduation at my college. Usually, graduations are not super exciting, but my school is a little different.

See, we are a small school. This term, I even had a class of 10 including me. I like it this way.

Last night, it was so bittersweet. I am so proud of my peers. But, the fact that I will never take a class with another one of them really sucks.

At Northwest, we really are family. I know that sounds cheesy. But for real. I know that we are all in this thing together and if I need anything, I have them. It didn't really hit me until last night how much this school, my teachers, and these people meant to me. This next year is my last year. I am ready to have my Bachelors degree, but I am not ready to leave.

So congratulations, Class of 2012. You will be sorely missed.

After 16 years at our school, Doc Jones is retiring. We will miss you!

Protected

Right Now

Reading: Well, since its finals week, I am switching from textbooks to "real" books... At the moment, that includes Mockingjay (the third book in the Hunger Games series). Thursday I start the LiveDead journal (click on the link... seriously, check it out). And I hope to get started on my summer reading list which includes some from the genius Francis Chan.

Watching: I have too many shows... I am addicted to Food Network including Cupcake Wars and Chopped. I am also an American Idol fan, Once Upon a Time, Grimm, The Voice and The Amazing Race.

Working on: My weight loss journey... I am down 15lbs which is not where I would like it to be, but I am not going to give up like I have in the past.

Thinking about: My future. Between more education after my bachelors, when to have babies, when we will be able to return to Uganda... There is a lot to plan.

Anticipating: This summer. I am soooo ready for a break from school... even though I do love it, I need a break. And we have a lot of youth events and weddings come up that I am really excited for!

Listening to: Matt Redman's worship album "10,000 Reasons".... Hunger Games soundtrack with Civil Wars and Taylor Swift on it, as well as my country playlist on Spotify. Listening to country with the sun out always reminds me of my hometown and puts me in a good mood.

Eating: Trying to be healthier... Ground turkey has become our good friend, strawberries for dessert, yogurt with granola is my new breakfast of choice, and chedder cheese.. So not healthy, but I am so not willing to give it up. It is my favorite food ever.

Wishing: I wish we had more money. I know everyone does, and I keep telling God He could let me win the lottery and I really would give a lot to ministry, missions, and charity, but that hasn't happened. Between school loans, needing another car, wanting to go back to Uganda and someday travel to Israel, I need mas mulah!