Not Grateful Enough?

I am grateful that my husband has a job. I really am. But when he leaves in the morning and doesn't come home until its dark outside, its hard to be grateful. It helps that with classes I have been taking both during the summer and school starting this week again, I have homework and things to keep my mind preoccupied, but it still doesn't totally cure it. I miss him. I miss him a lot.

And I know my situation could be worse. I am thankful my husband isn't in Afghanistan, a trucker, a pilot, etc. Nonetheless, I love my husband and I want to be with him.

I guess I will just work on winning the lottery so he can say goodbye to Starbucks.

One Voice

Yesterday began the first day of school. I signed up for 6 classes, 18 credits.... Goodbye social life.

More on this to come later.

But Mondays at school, we take a break from classes and have a chapel service. This looks different all the time, but most of the time we have an AMAZING song portion and a speaker. Sometimes we take trips to other churches, other religious places of worship... Sometimes we only have songs, sometimes we have guest speakers, sometimes students preach. It is a fantastic time.

Yesterday, I began to feel overwhelmed thinking about the load of classes I had signed myself up for. I began to think of the youth group stuff I had to do also, things for Sundays, possibly needing to find a job, etc. But as we began to sing, I heard something.

Everyone in the room with me was singing. We were all singing together. For an hour, life stopped, and we focused on God. With one voice, we surrendered our lives, our ministries, our hearts, our families, our school work, our everything to our Creator, and worshiped Him alone.

There is absolutely nothing like being in a place with people who love Jesus all singing as one voice.

How He Loves

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane
I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy
When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by Glory
And I realize just how beautiful you are and how great your affections are for me

Oh how he loves us, so
Oh How he loves us, how he loves us so

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane
I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy
When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by Glory
And I realize just how beautiful you are and how great your affections are for me

And oh, how he loves us so,
Oh how he loves us, how he loves us so

Yeah he loves us
Oh how he loves us
Oh how he loves us
Oh how he loves


We are his portion and he is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in his eyes
If grace is an ocean we’re all sinking
So, heaven meets earth like a unforseen kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way

He loves us
Oh how he loves us
Oh how he loves us
Oh how he loves 

Kaiden

Today, I am hanging out with Kaiden. He belongs to my old manager from Big 5. This kid is pretty darn cute. See for yourself:

This morning, we took him outside with us to take Yoshi out. Now we are sitting watching Power Rangers, Daimian's choice. 

It makes me hope for kids myself one day. I enjoying seeing my husband playing with Kaiden and thinking of the day we have our own. Not yet. I for sure am ok with just babysitting for now. But someday. Weird to think my becoming a mom is not so far away.

Dying for Legos

Last night at had the opportunity to go visit a youth group in Portland where our good friend Jeff is the youth pastor. As I sat there, I listened as Jeff explained just how amazing it is that Jesus would come and die for us. He talked about the verse in the Bible that says:

"Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand." Isaiah 64:8 

Jeff  explained that this verse speaks to the fact that the Potter would come and die for the clay. The Creator would die for the created.

In modern day, we don't use clay often. I know very few potters, though I admire their work. It is just no longer a common way of life. And so to understand it better, my good friend asked if any of us had played with legos (don't tell anyone, but I still do!). He said can you imagine dying for your legos? Can you imagine creating a lego masterpiece and dying for it?

Yeah, I can't either. But Jesus did. Jesus died for His legos.

Insane, right? Jesus loves us that much.

Crazy.

Free

I haven't talked about couponing recently, but today I got quite a bit for free, and simply couldn't resist sharing.

100% FREE!

As I was placing my items in my stockpile with the rest of the nearly free items, my husband sarcastically says, "We are never going to have to buy toothpaste or deodorant for the rest of our lives..."

I'll take that as a compliment. :)

P.S. Thinking about maybe teaching a coupon class... So many have asked how I do this. Interested?

How Quickly We Forget

How quickly we forget...

Japan. Are these peoples lives pieced back together yet? Absolutely not.

Haiti. Even longer ago, yet still so many without homes, sickness still controls and death is an ever-present fear.

Just a few days ago, a Silverton High School student died in a tragic farming accident. He was 17.

I have 4 friends in the last 2 years who have lost babies during pregnancy.

The famine killing so many in Somalia is still continuing. Children are still starving to death.

Devastation rocked the east coast just today.

And here I sit in my still standing house, food in my fridge, family healthy, loving husband, safe from any hurricane or earthquake, safe from any disease. At times, like today, I feel helpless. Almost guilty. I look around at all the unnecessary niceties in my home, wondering if that money could've saved a child. I want to fix every situation, save every human, solve every problem.

Most of the time, we forget, though. We go on with our lives. The thoughts of those suffering don't cross our minds until it hits a little bit closer to home. I don't think that we need to constantly dwell on things that we can't control, but I think its something that we shouldn't continue our lives without understanding we are a rare, blessed people.

Consider the money spent on frivolous things that could be sent to the Red Cross or other organizations. Consider the prayers that could be said and the time spent.

“Give justice to the poor and the orphan; uphold the rights of the oppressed and the destitute. Rescue the poor and helpless; deliver them from the grasp of evil people." Psalm 82:3-4

Karrine

Every Sunday, I load my car up with a car seat and drive my little 4-year-old, blonde headed, blue eyed, pale skinned, hilarious friend Karrine to church.

This little girl's home life is not the best, to say the least. Her dad lives in another state, her mom has no job, and lets Karrine take care of herself quite often. Sometimes, her hair isn't brushed or she still has dirt on her when I pick her up. She has definitely found a place in my heart. Part of it is I love kids, I consider myself compassionate, but let me tell you, if you don't love this girl, there is something wrong with you.

A couple Sundays ago, we picked her up and she was energetic, bright, and lovely as usual. She hops in the car, insists on buckling her own car seat, because "I know how, Brittany", and starts to tell us thank you for picking her up.

She tells me, "Do you know I have so many friends at church? Its where I have the most friends. People there love me more than anywhere else, even my mom and dad." That broke my heart. I tried to smile and hide the tears, so she didn't see. But she is intensely clever. "Brittany, no tears. I know you love me. And I am glad you pick me up in your turtle car (that's what she calls it... my green Honda station wagon looks like a tortoise) and you bring me to people who love me."

As much as it pains me to understand this little girl doesn't live in the perfect world she deserves, I am so grateful  I get to be a part of her world and help her in the best way I can. She is so insightful, smart, and inspiring. And I just want her to know that we love her.

As she got out of the car she said, "Oh and guess what. Jesus loves me too."

Mission accomplished.

Shots

Today, we have an appointment at the Travel Clinic. While there, we'll discuss what shots are needed for our trip to Uganda and when we have to get them, etc. Shots for malaria, yellow fever, and typhoid... Things I don't even worry about living in the United States. Its amazing how perspective changes when you get out of your comfort zone.

I can't believe we are actually doing this. Daimian's and my passports came in the mail a few days ago. Soon, we will be applying for visas, packing, and saying our goodbyes. Goodness sakes, I can hardly wait. I am not a patient person as it is, and this definitely isn't helping.

130 days, people. 130 long days.

Silverton

I miss my little hometown.

Most people grow up, move away, and never want to go back to their hometown. Silverton, for some, is different. It is an amazing town, small, but lively. The people are unlike any other. Close to Salem and Portland, but the country is literally in your backyard.

The times I spent yelling at football games, combining in the country, running up and down the basketball court, hanging out at Mac's Place, $5 movies at the Palace Theater, pizza at Home Place, Roth's for lunch, and so many more are things I think about, miss, and remember often.

Summer

I hate swim suits. I hate swimming. I hate tank tops. I hate shorts. I hate sundresses. I hate walking around outside in the heat. I hate summer.

Not everything about summer. Just the parts that remind me I am fat. I am jealous seeing pictures of skinny little things in bikinis, something I have never been small enough to wear. Short shorts that look funky cause I have to buy size 132 when they are meant for size 2.

Because of this, I have made a vow: This is absolutely the last summer I am going to hate. Next year, I am going to wear a bikini, and a pair of short shorts.

2012. I am going to LOVE summer.

Our Day in Portland

Wednesday, Daimian had the day off. No church. No Starbucks. This does not happen often.

So I took advantage of this rare gift.

I planned a whole day in Portland, just us. We tried to find the Farmer's Market, but my direction skills are awful, so our attempt was in vain.

So we decided to settle for the Food Carts that are popping up everywhere in this town. It really is true that some of the best food in the world is in the ghetto, sketch places, not in the fancy restaurants. We enjoyed Ethiopian food (If you've never had a Sambusa, you need to), Bosnian food (meatballs in a cufte white sauce - delish), and Turkish food (the best lamb I've ever eaten).

This is where we got the meatballs from

Of course, you can't go to Portland without a trip to Powell's. I adore that place. We visited a Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream Shop, because it is my husband's favorite food in the world and stopped by a cupcake shop, because I am all into that stuff. By the way, Cupcake Jones is NOT a cupcake shop you want to visit. Was not good. Dang. 

Lastly, I took Daimian to Portland City Grill. It is a restaurant 30 stories up so you get a view of Portland like you have never seen before while you eat. Mt. Hood, the Willamette River, Waterfront, Rose Garden, etc. It is amazing. And it was simply the best steak I have ever had in my life.

I love my husband. This was one of the greatest days I have had in a long time. I am a blessed girl.

Missionary Babies

If you didn't know before - I am off to Africa someday. My husband and I will be missionaries there at some point... Problem is, God hasn't quite let us know when that is, where that is, or what we will be doing.

Traditionally, missionaries in the Assembly of God (denomination of the church we are a part of) spend 4 years on the mission field and come back to the United States for 1 year to travel, let churches know what has been happening, and to raise money to go back out for 4 years. This is not how I picture our ministry, but honestly, we have no clue.

Ideally, I would love to set up orphanages, medical facilities, churches, schools, and Bible Colleges all over the continent of Africa.

Ideally, I would also love to be a mother.

I have always said I do not want to homeschool my kids. If you are homeschooled, or homeschool your kids, or believe in homeschooling, I am totally ok with that. Please don't get offended. I have nothing against you. It just isn't for me. But if we are traveling back and forth from the U.S. to Africa, and all over Africa, I may have no other option. Plus, who aspires to put their child in the Africa school "system"? What is best for my kids?

This isn't the first time I have thought about this. I know I have been called to Africa for years now. But now that I am married, its something that I actually need to decide on. Do I have kids now and wait to go to Africa until they are 18? Do I have kids and hang out in Africa until they are old enough to go to school, then come back here? Do we go back every summer and come back during the school year? Do I just let them grow up in Africa going through their schools? is it ok for them to switch back and forth between Africa schooling and American schooling depending on where we are?

I guess now is the time to do some serious praying.

This is a true test of trust for me.

Any suggestions? Prayers appreciated.

New :)

Today I had some time on my hands (doesn't happen often) and so I updated my blog. My friend Jaimie used shabbyblogs.com to update hers, and it is so cute, so I tried. Check them out! Its amazing!

What do you think? New header, background, and signature. I even added Yoshi to the header. Yes, I love my dog.

Anyways, leave a comment. Tell me what you think!

I no longer recognize you.

Growing up, so close, inseperable, loving.
I knew you - you're favorites, your loves, your hates.
I understood you.

Today, this story is different.
Distance now defines us.
I no longer know you.
I no longer understand you.
I no longer recognize you.

So much has overtaken the sweet, loving, kind, sincere girl I once knew.
Immaturity, anger, materialism, arrogance.
How do I help you?
Can we ever return to the relationship we once had?
Can you ever return to the girl you once were?

I love you. I pray for you.
But I no longer recognize you.

Camping

3 days without a shower or running water isn't necessarily a way I like to spend my time. But add in my family - uncles, aunts, cousins, Nana, parents, and siblings, and I will absolutely endure no showers/water.

We went up the Clackamas River to camp. We hiked up to Bagby Hot Springs, which we learned has a nudist section. Oops.

The cousins built a dam in the creek right along our campsites. I almost finished an entire book ("Tea With Hezbollah" by Ted Dekker... Post to come on that later.) And got to just relax with my favorite people in the world who I don't get to see that often.

Before summer is over, I would love to go camping again - maybe just Daimian and I... well, Yoshi too... and maybe somewhere with a shower.

Days off

Sometimes days off are not just nice, but necessary. These next 4 days of camping are just that. This summer has been everything except relaxing, and Daimian and I simply need a break.

I am not complaining. He is working A LOT at Starbucks on top of doing youth stuff so I can go to school and work at the church as well. He is the most unselfish, self-sacrificing, hard-working man that I know. But I can see it in him that he needs a few days with no coffee, teenagers, or housework. And so do I.

We go camping every year with the Morgan side - my dad's two siblings and their families along with my Nana. I love it. There is never a quiet moment, but it is relaxing nevertheless.

I will see you all when I get back!

"The Clan"