Persecution

I read an article the other day about an Iranian pastor who has been imprisoned for 2 years because he is a Christian. (Read the article here: http://aclj.org/iran/iran-upholds-christian-pastor-apostasy-conviction-execution-wednesday) This week, he was to be executed because he refuses to recant his faith. Right now, he is still alive because there has been so much bad publicity for the Iranian government. I am so thankful that we do not face such persecution in America.

But recently, there have been stories popping up everywhere of a different kind of persecution. Not as severe as that in the middle east, but still one that makes me angry and uneasy.

The other day, one of my friends who attends a high school here in Oregon said that her friend got his cross necklace taken away because apparently, you can no longer wear anything that shows you are for any certain religion.... So if you are muslim, does that mean you are no longer allowed to wear your head scarf? What about people who shave their heads, is that wrong since Buddhist monks do the same thing?

How about this article about teachers and coaches who are in trouble for bowing their heads, and they no longer can participate in a national day of prayer known as See You at the Pole that takes place before school, before teachers are paid, but the school district feels they can dictate it. (http://radio.foxnews.com/2011/09/28/christian-teachers-coaches-under-attack/)

And another article of a Bible study fined $300 for having so many people in their home. (http://abcnews.go.com/US/california-family-fined-bible-study-home/story?id=14582868)

What the heck is going here? What happened to freedom of religion, one of the very foundational reasons our forefathers came to this new land? And why is it happening all of the sudden now?

This makes me sick, angry, and violated.

Matthew 5:11 says: "God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are my followers." 


Lord, be with us.

Youcef Nadarkhani and his family

I Wish God had a Megaphone

Life would be so much easier if God had a megaphone.

Daimian and I are in a decision stage once again about possibly moving homes, even towns, and about my trying to get a part time job. We are trying to decide what to do when we are done with school. Daimian is done this year, and I am done next  year. When does Africa come into the picture? When do we want kids? What do we want to do before we have kids?

God, can't you just get a megaphone and let me know what to do? Maybe a neon sign or even a public service announcement? I need some answers. I hate waiting for them.

I guess this is just another situation in which God wants me to learn and grow. Sometimes, I get tired of all this growth. I guess its good for you, but once in a while a break would be nice.

Not whats best for me, but maybe a nice break. I need to get my head back on straight.

Calling all Crafty People!

I need some ideas.

I am not necessarily the most creative person, and I definitely wouldn't consider myself crafty. But I enjoy making my home personalized and decorating. I also enjoy doing these things for little cost. I need crafty ideas to decorate my home with some do-it-yourself projects, etc.

Any ideas?

I need creative signs, cute homemade bookshelves, wood projects (where do you even get wood to do projects?)

Someone help!!

Overwhelmed

7 classes. 50 hours at Starbucks. 40 hours at church. Marriage. Dog. House. Car. 


My husband and I are busy. 


Lately we have felt so overwhelmed. Just spread thin. And we feel as though nothing can suffer. We can't stop. 


Life can get this way. Especially with my husband's and my personalities, we tend to do, do, do. Resting makes us feel lazy, useless... 


But Genesis 2:2 says, "By the seventh day God had finished the work He had been doing; so on the seventh day He rested from all His work. And God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it He rested from all the work of creating that He had done." 


If God did it, what in the world makes me think that I shouldn't? 


How arrogant am I?


Dang. 

Money

Money sucks. If you don't have it, it makes things way more difficult than they should be. If you do, than you can easily become prideful and materialistic. Always? No. But possible.

I wish I had money. I am in the category of no money. I could've said I am a college student and you probably would've figured it out for yourself. I don't call myself poor. Compared to 85% of the world, I am not poor. I am very rich. Just a personal pet peeve of mine. I won't get on my soap box.

But think about all the things money can do. If I was a millionaire, there is a gigantic list of people I want to help, places I want to go, things I want to do. As I have grown up and understood the importance of money in that it runs our world, my priorities have changed.

I remember in high school, I was working at a pizza place in my hometown. A co-worker and I got into a discussion about what we would do if we won the lottery. I remember my answers had something to do with a nice car (maybe even 3), a big house, traveling to Venice, Paris, Sydney, London, Tokyo, etc. Clothes came up in the conversation. Jewelry. Sporting events, and even buying the Portland Trail Blazers. Now, I would still love to travel to those places, and I still might even consider purchasing the Blazers, but first, there are other things I would do. I feel like if we had this conversation now, my answers would be very, very different.

What is jewelry if children in Africa are dying of malaria? What is a nice car if people in Arab nations are being killed for converting to Christianity? What is yet another nice car if foster children in America are abused and hungry? What is a big house if children in Cambodia live on the street? What does anything matter if people are losing mothers, brothers, sisters to all kinds of cancers we have no cure for?

If I won the lottery, there would be so much I could do to help them. No, I could not fix everything. I wish I could. I so wish I could. But I know it would make the money so much more valuable if it went to someone other than myself and my materialistic shallowness.

I wish I had money... Simply so I could make a difference in this world. I guess I will have to figure out how to without it.

Never tell God never.

My calling has always been Africa. There has never been a doubt in my mind.

It took me a while to be okay with this call, to be happy about where I was going to go. Eventually, though, I became okay with it. I became happy about it. I even desire it now.

But I told God, I will NEVER do Youth Ministry. Ever.

Never tell God never.

When I started dating Daimian and we realized we wanted to get married, our callings came into discussion. I had told God I wouldn't be a youth pastor. Daimian told God he wasn't going to go to Africa.

God has a sense of humor.

And now, despite what I told Him before, I am so glad that God has me doing Youth Ministry. I love it. I love the kids. I love the events. I love the work. I love the challenge. I love seeing my husband grow. I love my own growth. I love the kid's growth.

Before, I said while I am waiting to pursue my calling in Africa, I will do youth. But that is no longer how I view it. Right now, I am a youth pastor. Later, I will be in Africa.

In both ways and at both times, I am fulfilling my calling.

My Response

I have a class called Worship in the Bible.

In that class, we have been doing quite a bit of Old Testament study about pagan gods and how the Jews worshiped in the Bible. Because of this, we have been reading through the book of Exodus. I have read through this book before. But never has this passage caught my attention quite like it did today.

Exodus 34:6-8

"And He [God] passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, 'The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet He does not leave the guilty unpunished; He punishes the children and their children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation.' Moses bowed to the ground at once and worshiped." (NIV)

Get that! The first 2 verses discuss who God is, His character. He is amazing, full of grace, love and mercy. He is forgiving, yet just. And then Moses' response? He bows down and worships.... AT ONCE. The NASB says he "made haste". The NLT says "immediately". 

What is my response? As I read through the Bible, as I see God transforming the kids in our youth group, as I see Him working in my life, taking care of my finances, family, marriage, etc... In those times, I need to bow to the ground at once and worship my Lord. Don't take time to consider anyone else, anything else, even myself. 

God deserves our immediate worship as we see His character at work in our lives.

A video that says it so much better than I can.

Crazy

People think I am crazy.
And I usually don't disagree.

But people think I am crazy mostly because my heart longs for a continent plagued by poverty, disease, war, famine, and death.

People think I am crazy because I long for Africa.

Please remember, I did not pick this country. I truly feel its what I was born to do and why God has me on this earth.

Lets be honest. I am scared outta my mind. Poverty, disease, war, famine, and death are not exactly things that you look for when trying to find a place to build a home, to raise kids, to live life.

Webster defines "longing" as a "yearning desire". I can't explain this desire. I can't define it. It just is there. My entire being desires, yearns, longs for Africa.

To me, I am not the crazy one. Anyone who wants to be anywhere else is crazy.

How could you not want to be in Africa?

I guess its a good thing I am going soon.

104 days.

September 11

Nothing I could ever write here about the attacks on September 11, 2001 would mean anything.
Words seem useless. Songs seem empty. All you can do is simply watch the footage again. Reflect on where you were when it happened. And find strength, security, and life in Jesus.

We will never forget.

Lord, protect us.

Tired

I'm tired of being the "loud" one.
I'm tired of being the "fat" one.
I'm tired of being the one who is pretty, but your sisters are prettier.
I'm tired of being the "college" one.
I'm tired of being the "ministry" one.
I'm tired of being the "Africa" one.
I'm tired of being the one who is married, but still not an adult.
I'm tired of being the "stubborn" one.
I'm tired of being the "clumsy" one.
I'm tired of being the "strong-willed" one.
I'm tired of being the "opinionated" one.

All things people have told me, called me, said about me.

Am I loud? Am I fat? Am I pretty, but my sisters are prettier? Am I in college? Am I in ministry? Am I going to Africa? Am I married? Am I stubborn? Am I clumsy? Am I strong-willed? Am I opinionated?

Absolutely.

Is that all that defines me?

No.

I am just me. Please just let me be me without the labels. Without the insults. Without the judgments.

I am just me.

Jeff & Jenny

Once in a while you meet people who you are 100% certain will be in your life forever. Daimian and I have met those kind of people in Jeff and Jenny.

Jenny is amazing. She is such a hard-worker, the most trustworthy person I know, and puts up with me and all the crap I come with. Jeff is a passionate, exciting guy who is wise, intelligent, and funny. These 2 come over and do homework with us, play board games, just chat for hours... I don't know where we would be without their friendship. They have made us better people.

Daimian and I love you both so so much.

Hmmmm

I read this post over at my friend Grace's blog (http://arms-wide-open.squarespace.com/) and thought it was a fun idea. I always enjoy knowing what others are reading and watching and jamming to. So here goes.

What I'm Reading: (Besides my 87 school books)

Tea with Hezbollah by Ted Dekker

Erasing Hell by Francis Chan

The first 5 books of the Old Testament

What I'm listening to:

Someone like you by Adele (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAc83CF8Ejk&ob=av2e)

Rise by Shawn McDonald 

Ships in the Night by Mat Kearney

On TV:

America's Got Talent

Project Runway

Hell's Kitchen (I love Gordon Ramsey)

In the Netflix Queue:

The Great Debaters

Changeling

The Soloist

In Blogland:

Lori Printy "Five of My Own" blog is all about her family and her experience of adoption. She is inspiring, funny, honest, and has so much knowledge. (http://fiveofmyown.blogspot.com/)

Grace Parsons is one of my closest friends sisters. She is a survivor of PPD and a mother living in Mexico. (http://arms-wide-open.squarespace.com/)

Sarah Beyea is a girl I worked with at Big 5. She is the queen of fashion and make up and is just so real and genuine. She is great. (http://sarahbeyea.blogspot.com/)

What I'm looking forward to:

Our road trip to Pendleton this weekend.

The school year - I think I am really going to do well.

The end of my weight loss journey.

One word: UGANDA

What about you?!