Christmas

It is cliche, on Christmas, to say how grateful I am for Jesus and how its time to reminisce about the birth of my Savior... So excuse me for being cliche. Because I am so grateful.

This season, I have really been thinking about what it really means that He was born. He came simply to die. He came only for us. He came because of His love. And this year, I was ok with that just being my gift. I love Christmas for many reasons - family, friends, gifts, food, games, Christmas movies... But this year, I can honestly say that Jesus was on my mind the most... Maybe its because of the Africa trip (I LEAVE TOMORROW), maybe its because this year we weren't able to buy much because of finances... I don't know. But if you really sit and think about what His birth means, there is so much excitement, satisfcation, and joy that comes from that.

Merry Christmas.

"'Don’t be afraid, Mary,' the angel told her, 'for you have found favor with God! You will conceive and give birth to a Son, and you will name Him Jesus. He will be very great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give Him the throne of His ancestor David. And He will reign over Israel forever; His Kingdom will never end!'”

Luke 1:30-33

American Church

I have struggled quite a bit recently with the "American Church". The majority of churches I find apathetic, lifeless, comfortable, selfish, and often times have strayed so far away from their purpose that it is almost unrecognizable.

Geez, I really need to be more honest, huh?

I am tired of hearing people say things like they're worried about youth being in the building because they might spill soda or get dirt on the pew. Really? That's your main concern?

I don't think if Jesus were around today, He would be allowed in our churches. And if we did let him in, he wouldn't make it out without ridicule, judgment, and some anger from the congregants. How He lived on this earth is so far away from the Christian church of today who is commanded to imitate Him. Funny how that works.

I found this song, "My Jesus", by Todd Agnew. It is ridiculously accurate to how I have been feeling the last few weeks. Here is the lyrics and below, you can listen to it. Do it. Really. He says it way better than I could.

Which Jesus do you follow?

Which Jesus do you serve?

If Ephesians says to imitate Christ

Then why do you look so much like the world?

Cause my Jesus bled and died

He spent His time with thieves and liars

He loved the poor and accosted the arrogant

So which one do you want to be?

Blessed are the poor in spirit

Or do we pray to be blessed with the wealth of this land

Blessed are they that hunger and thirst for righteousness

Or do we ache for another taste of this world of shifting sand

Cause my Jesus bled and died for my sins

He spent His time with thieves and sluts and liars

He loved the poor and accosted the rich

So which one do you want to be?

Who is this that you follow

This picture of the American dream

If Jesus was here would you walk right by on the other side 

or fall down and worship at His holy feet

Pretty blue eyes and curly brown hair and a clear complexion

Is how you see Him as He dies for Your sins

But the Word says He was battered and scarred

Or did you miss that part

Sometimes I doubt we'd recognize Him

Cause my Jesus bled and died

He spent His time with thieves and the least of these

He loved the poor and accosted the comfortable

So which one do you want to be?

Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church

The blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet

But He reaches for the hurting and despises the proud

I think He'd prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd

And I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud

I want to be like my Jesus!

I want to be like my Jesus!

I want to be like my Jesus!

I want to be like my Jesus!

Not a posterchild for American prosperity, but like my Jesus

You see I'm tired of living for success and popularity

I want to be like my Jesus but I'm not sure what that means to be like You Jesus

Cause You said to live like You, love like You but then You died for me

Can I be like You Jesus?

I want to be like you Jesus!

I want to be like my Jesus!

I am scared. And its ok.

This morning, I filled my malaria medicine. I got my medicine in case we get sick. Daimian got his last shot. And I made a very long to do list of stuff that has to get done before we leave.

But last night, I was not feeling quite the same motivation as I did this morning. I laid in bed with my adorable husband sound asleep next to me and I couldn't seem to quiet my mind. This whole journey of planning the trip to Africa, fundraising, getting all the details in place, finding an organization to help, etc. I have been nothing but excited. My enthusiasm has been hard to miss by those around me. But last night was different.

For the first time, I am scared. So very scared.

I have been overseas before, so that isn't the problem. I have ridden on planes before, so that isn't it either. I hate spiders more than I can explain, but even that isn't it. I think it finally just smacked me in the face last night with the combination of the trip and Christmas coming up. I know, weird connection, but allow me to explain.

This trip is more than just a short term trip for the Mr. and I. This trip is the first taste of what our lives will eventually look like. Someday, we will be getting on a plane and we won't return for a lot longer than 3 weeks. It might be 3 months...3 years. And that means that I will miss Christmases. I will miss birthdays. I will miss babies being born, friends getting married... I will miss life.

So although this trip is only going to last me a few weeks, the lifelong implications are much greater, much scarier than what I can wrap my brain around right now.

Don't get me wrong, I am still so excited. I still have a countdown. I still talk about it all the time. And my whole self wants to be there right now, this moment. But the bigger picture is what terrifies me right now. Part of me is so excited for the big picture, for our future in Africa.

But today, in this moment, and last night as I lay awake, I am scared. And that is ok.

10 days.

The orphanage where we will be working

This Cause

I have written about Invisible Children before. But I am writing once again because I LOVE this cause. I have been a supporter of it since high school. Now, one of my very good friends, Tessa, is working for them as an intern in California. I love seeing updates from her on Facebook about all kinds of great things that are happening with this organization.

They are working right now to raise 2 million dollars. There is so much cool stuff being set up with the help of the supporters. If you aren't sure what it is or what they are doing, check out the Invisible Children Website and learn more. Seriously. It is worth your 5 minutes.

If you want to donate, click the link below:

http://www.stayclassy.org/fundraise/ic?fcid=120308

Please join me in making a difference for the children of Africa. Somewhere between the loads of Christmas gifts we buy, this can be one where you can genuinely feel good about what you are doing with your money.

Mary

With Christmas only 12 days away, my decorations are up all over my house. No tree yet, but that will soon be remedied. My nativity set might be my favorite part, though. I love it. It is front and center in my living room on top of my entertainment center.

I got to thinking yesterday as I was looking at the nativity... I feel bad for Mary. What a responsibility! Mother to Jesus? No thanks.

But there's more.... How did she get chosen? I mean, I know she met the requirements of being in the line of King David, and a virgin. But she couldn't have been the only girl that fit the criteria. What made her special? She had to have been living in such a way, God Almighty knew He could trust her. She had to have been committed, loving, dedicated, unwavering, obedient, not perfect, but tried for it.

Would I get chosen? If Mary and I lived at the same time, and I met all the criteria too, would He have chosen me? I know its a bit of a silly question, but get what I am trying to say here... Is my life one that God would choose? Am I living like her, obedient, unwavering, dedicated, not perfect, but trying for it?

I don't know.

But I want to live that way.

Mary, I do not envy you or the responsibility you had, but I do wish to live like you, so God can choose me....

For anything.

For Our Freedom

There is something both heart-warming and heart-breaking about this picture.

I am so sad for so many this holiday season, but today, my heart breaks for the soldiers who will have Christmas together in foreign countries without their families. So when I stumbled across this picture, I took a moment and prayed for the men and women who fight for our country despite the fact that so many in this country could care less about the unselfish who sacrifice for their freedom.

For our freedom.

School vs. Church?

As youth pastors, my husband and I deal with teens. Obviously.

And one of the things that we have found out is that schools don't like us.

I find this odd.

Don't worry. I know all about the separation of church vs. state. And I get it. I understand. But at the same time, don't you think we could kind of work together?

Isn't both of our goals to help the youth of America? Isn't both of our goals to help these kids find their place in this world and to educate them so they can make something of themselves? Don't we both want to see them succeed, grow, and learn?

Daimian and I have tried to get into several schools as volunteers and they won't let us. We have tried to offer support and help to the administration and they don't want it. As soon as they hear the words "youth pastor", "youth group", or "church", they shut down. Automatically, its a no.

If our goals are similar, couldn't we work together better?

Why can't it be school and church, not school vs. church?

My Nana

I have the greatest grandmother in the entire world.

Seriously.

This woman is amazing.

We call her Nana. Most people call her Doreen. She raised my father, my aunt, and my uncle to be incredible individuals, practically on her own. My grandfather, for a long time, was not a nice guy. But against his wishes, she took her kids to church, taught them about Jesus, and what really matters in life.

Is she rich? No. But she spends her money on things that matter... things that aren't materialistic. She's anything but lazy. This is a woman who hikes, leads the singles group at her church, goes on photography trips with her sister, sings in the church choir, cooks everything for Christmas, comes to the grandkids' games and plays, and so much more.

She is unstoppable.

If I can be even half the woman she is, half the grandmother she is, half the mother she is, then I will be far better than most women out there.

I am proud and blessed to call her Nana.

Please Enjoy

My friend Robin just returned from the World Race. The World Race is on my bucket list. It is an intense trip over a period of 11 months in 11 countries. Um, yes please!

Anyways, she posts blogs from some of her fellow racers and I like to read them.. No it is not the same thing as Facebook stalking. Here is one that I read and it spoke to me HARD CORE.

Please enjoy.

http://ruthwilson.theworldrace.org/?filename=i-miss

A Sense of Belonging

There are some days I really miss basketball. I played all 4 years in high school. I lettered all 4 years. And those 4 years with that team were, to this day, some of the best years of the short 21 I have lived.

Every time I watch a girl's basketball game, I think of the old days. I remember what it felt like to be apart of the team. We practiced together. We lifted weights together. We played games together. We ran lines together.... SO many lines....

That togetherness you feel with those girls is unmatched. When you go through defense week, or as we affectionately called it "Hell Week", and losses and wins, and Coach Steers' anger, happiness, disappointment, and joy, conditioning, traveling, playoffs, pre-game rituals.... There is a bond that is created that never goes away. The girls I played basketball with are the only ones from high school that I really speak to anymore.

And I haven't had that sense of belonging since then. I have never been apart of anything like that since those days at Silverton High.

And it saddens me. Because shouldn't this be how the church is?

Shouldn't we, as the body of Christ, as like believers, be running this race together, training together, helping each other through all the emotions and trials and good and blessings? Instead, we have turned into individuals who happen to kind of doing the same thing. Would that ever work on a basketball court?

Not a chance.

So why do we do it with the gospel?

Last Night

Last night was a humbling experience.

For those of you who don't know, my husband and I youth pastor in a small town here in Oregon. We have al different types of teens. Some are pastor's kids, others have no families. Some have abused drugs, alcohol, and tobacco at the ripe age of 12. Others don't even know what a drug is. We have seniors all the way down to 6th graders.

Last night my husband wanted to discuss issues relevant to the culture, and the kids. So we brought up everything from alcohol to cussing to homosexuality. Our goal? Simply to get the kids thinking. This is stuff that Katy Perry and Lady Gaga and Glee and their friends and their schools all deal with. And for years, the church has been the only ones not talking about it. Why? Fear.

So we wanted to simply do what the church hasn't done - show them what the only person who matters says about these things. I could care less what Gaga says or Glee sings about. What does Scripture say?

And we knew going into last night that the kids were going to have "American" ideas of things, which at this point are far from Scripture. But to actually hear it from their mouths... That was something entirely different. When I hear a 13 year old say, "Well, why not try drugs? My parents could care less. They do it." And to hear another say, "My dad is the one who buys me the porn. If he doesn't think its bad, why should I?"

Sometimes, this job seems a little hopeless... Like we are the only ones fighting this battle. Parents aren't helping. The media isn't helping. Schools aren't helping. Even the church isn't helping. There is this small band of us who are trying to make a difference and show the youth of America that the messages they are hearing that are contrary to Jesus won't get them anywhere... Its simply false.

Luckily, none of this shocked the Lord, nor did it stump him. It isn't hopeless because the Big Guy on our side is way stronger, and cooler, than Lady Gaga.

"Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength."

Nehemiah 8:10

Biggest Loser

I love the Biggest Loser. I am a faithful viewer, every darn week. I have been guilty of eating ice cream while watching, but that is a different story...

Usually, though, after I am finished watching it, I am motivated enough to run a mile. Its given me a lot of tips and tricks and help for my own weight loss journey.

But I think its done some negative. With good always comes bad. When I see these people on the show sweating and doing jumping jacks, and then I see the pounds they lose every single week, I think subconsciously, I think I am going to pull those numbers too. What I forget is that they work out 6 hours or more a day and do not have to work or clean the house or write 7 page papers for school... They weren't limited in their budget, and could buy any fresh produce and ground turkey and everything else that is so expensive at Safeway.

I am limited in my budget. I am limited in the amount of time that I can work out. I am limited in my knowledge, and I do not have a personal trainer.

I have lost weight though. I have lost inches mostly. I have gone down in dress sizes. But it isn't as fast as those on the Biggest Loser, and I have a hard time not getting frustrated with myself. I have a hard time letting my weight loss journey be ok and not comparing it to everyone else's. I am not giving up though. I am on the right track to reach my goal for Summer 2012. I need to just focus on that.

I need to just focus on me. And hopefully soon I will have my own before and after picture.