Reagan Elizabeth

I am an aunt once again.

On February 22nd, my little sister, Laura gave birth to her first child, Reagan Elizabeth Severin.
I have been in love with her since the moment we found out my sister was pregnant, but watching her be born was life changing, and my love grew instantly.

I think the connection I have with Reagan is a special one. Not only is she the cutest thing I have ever seen - well maybe tied with my baby cousin Audrey - but I am grateful to her. When I met my first niece, the situation was much different. She was sick and I had to say hello and goodbye in the same kiss. She is now in heaven with Jesus and I long for the day I will see her again. With Reagan, it was a completely different situation. She was healthy the whole time, no problems, her birth was perfectly normal and she is growing every day.

But I have to be honest. When we had Reagan's shower, there was a part of me that was sad because I realized this was supposed to happen for Alyse too, and it didn't. When I was at the hospital waiting for her to be born, I realized the last time I had been in the hospital waiting for my niece to be born, it was a tragic time. But when I held her in my arms, it was as if Alyse said to me, "Go ahead, love her too".

I guess I was afraid that if I loved Reagan, it meant that I was forgetting Alyse. That somehow there wasn't enough love to go around because I simply loved Alyse so much. That somehow if I wasn't sad that I couldn't hold Alyse when I was holding Reagan, that my heart was letting her go.

Reagan helped me realize this wasn't the case. There is, in fact, enough love to go around, even if it seems unfathomable. They can both be in my heart, just in different ways.

This aunt thing is amazing. I know when I have kids of my own, it will be something so completely different and life altering, but for now I am learning, growing, and loving in ways I never knew possible just by being an aunt.

To Alyse, I love you and I will never forget you. To Reagan, thank you for healing me, and for teaching me about a love I never knew before.