When to Begin

Its hard to think of my life being anything other than what it is right now.

My husband and I are free to take spontaneous trips, go to Shari's at 1:00am for milkshakes, and sleep in when he has the day off without interruption.

Of course we are busy with church and school and he works a lot, but we still have lazy days in our sweats and cook dinner together and go out with friends when last minute plans are made.

But when you have kids that all changes. Or so I have heard.

I absolutely want children. I always have. I want biological children and I want to adopt. I would hope that I would make a great mom... someday.

Its hard to know when that someday is. Mr. Dunn and I have obviously talked about it. We said 5 years from when we got married. Part of it has to do with school. I have heard how hard it is to do college and kids at the same time.

But its so hard to know when. When am I ready? The idea of being a mom and being responsible for a life, a soul is overwhelming to say the least. It feels like I was just in high school, far too young to be thinking about these things. Now, it has snuck up on me. And I am completely unprepared.

They say you are never fully prepared. You are never fully ready. I enjoy the way things are right now. I enjoy our marriage right now. I guess that's a clue that I am not ready. That it isn't time. And that's ok. Its ok for me to enjoy the now and let the future wait.

I just wish I knew when the right time was.