Our Story: Part 3

{This post is a continuation of  a series about my husband's and my story. Read part one here and part two here}

Its been a while since part two of mine and Daimian's story, but school started, and that is ALL I do. No joke. 

Anyways, we have been to Mexico, and to college, and now we finally get to the juicy stuff. 

After a short relationship, and my finally letting go of my past relationship, Daimian and began to bond just as friends. For real, there was nothing romantic at all and I loved it... We both did. We were both going through a new chapter in our lives in several ways and previous friendships were changing, I was trying to decide what I wanted out of life, and Daimian stepped in as a confidant, a listening ear, a wise voice, and a funny (not to mention good-looking) guy that helped me along. 

Just Amigos (Nice hair, D)

On Valentines Day in 2010, my group of friends were all single, including myself and Daimian, so we decided to hang out at my place. I bought a picture frame that I thought he would like, printed the picture above, and gave it to him along with a card telling him how much I appreciated his friendship and him. He bought my a flower and a card, but still there was no romance... At least I thought.

A couple weeks later, we sat in the gym at our school for almost two hours helping each other let go of all the baggage and garbage and stupid stuff we couldn't before. It all seemed so darn traumatic then, but looking back now, it just wasn't such a big deal. Nonetheless, I went home that night even more thankful for Daimian and our friendship. But then I got to thinking about Valentines Day and how easy it was to talk to him and tell him things I had never disclosed to anyone else, and I wondered if I had been falling in love with him and didn't even know it. So I wrote to him on Facebook (thank God for social media being a shield for my scared buns. I basically told him that if he ever started to have feelings for me, I wanted him to be honest because I didn't want anything to ruin our friendship. He replied telling me that he did in fact have feelings for me, didn't know how to tell me, but didn't want things to be weird. 

The next day, he came over, we stayed up all night talking about LITERALLY everything, I made him pancakes, he went to work at 7:00am the next day on no sleep, drove back to Keizer from Albany after, and asked me to be his girlfriend. This was our first picture together:

Aren't we adorable?

Every single day since March 5, 2010, we have seen each other. I remember one time he even drove 45 minutes down I-5 after work for 30 minutes of hanging out before I had to go to my job at Shari's. THIRTY MINUTES, people. There hasn't been a day go by that I haven't seen him.

D's 20th birthday a few weeks after we started dating

The last part, part four comes next. Hopefully sooner than I got around to writing part three. :)

Our Story: Part 2

{This post is a continuation of  a series about my husband's and my story. Read part one here}

Where were we.... Oh, yes, Tijuana, Mexico.

Back to the States we came. At that time, we were both going into our junior year of high school and my biggest concerns were basketball, track & field, my girlfriends, and a boy who wasn't named Daimian.

While in Mexico, I racked up a $500 phone bill calling that boy every single day. When I got back from Mexico, he bought me a promise ring and I just knew that I would be his wife one day. I was sixteen and had fallen in love for the first time. We went to proms together, had dates at Red Robin, drove around in his Mustang, and got our first tattoos together (luckily, not of each other, just at the same time).

But, as I know and you know now, it wasn't meant to be. It was a rough ending... Between the cheating, the breaking up and getting back together a few times, having to lose each other's families, and experiencing my first true heartbreak, I was devastated. I look back now and I understand just how much I am grateful for both of us that the Lord brought us out of a relationship that wasn't centered on Him, wasn't healthy, and we both have found spouses that we were supposed to be with. But it taught me a lot. And I am grateful.

I graduated high school and went through an incredibly rebellious stage of life. I knew that I was supposed to be at a Bible College nearby, but I didn't want to. I chose drinking and community college instead. I tried to drown out my heartbreak and avoid what God wanted from me. I finally hit rock bottom and decided to stop running, so in 2009, I decided to enroll at Salem Bible College.

I remember walking in the door the first day of classes. I walked into chapel and there were a whole lot of faces I didn't recognize. I was annoyed that I had "given in" and ended up at this tiny school pursuing a degree in Christian Leadership. I looked around for something to help me stop freaking out, and there was Daimian. I remembered him from our trip to Mexico three years before. I had seen him around at our state wide youth convention and at other youth events. He was well-known around the district of churches because while I was worried about skipping class, this guy was leading a Bible study at his school, handing out Bibles, etc.

Little Daimian in 2009

We became friends quickly. I was amazed at how awesome the people were at this school. We all had crazy stories - some crazier than others - but we all bonded over a tests, fast food, and a passion for Jesus. Our group was close, and Daimian - who I had first met three years ago in a completely different situation of life - was a part of that group and I am so grateful he was. 

Study Group - 2009

Before we had any idea we would end up as husband and wife

Our Story: Part One

With my anniversary a couple weeks behind us, I started thinking, I am not sure if people have heard out story in full before. Granted, it is not something out of Hollywood or anything, but I thought it would be fun for Daimian and I, if nothing else, to document our little love story and remember how we got to this time.

Our story starts a long time ago in 2006. It was the summer in between my sophomore and junior year of high school. I had been out of the country one time to Cambodia on a missions trip and had caught the travel bug there. So when the opportunity came for me to travel once again and do service work in a different country, I took it. This time we would be driving to Tijuana, Mexico. I spoke a tiny bit of Spanish and LOVED Mexican food, so I was ready.

A much skinnier version of me with Mo and Berry

My two best friends, Alex (Berry) and Justine (Mo), were joining me on the trip along with my sister, my parents, and a couple other friends in our youth group. We spent time fundraising, praying, and preparing for what we hoped to be life-changing. The day finally arrived, we loaded in the church van and drove to Madras where we would meet up with the rest of the students from our state who we would be traveling with. The trip isn't something I remember a lot other than sitting in the very back, not a lot of air conditioning, and gazing out the window as the scenery made an extreme change from southern California, the border crossing, to the slums of Mexico.

As we drove in Rancho De Sus Ninos, the orphanage we would be staying and doing most of our work with, another group was already there, also from Oregon. They had driven in from Pendleton, I place I had heard of but never been in the eastern part of my home state. I don't remember a lot about the first parts of the trip other than we mixed A LOT of concrete for building projects and loved on a lot of orphans, all while enjoying the best, most authentic Mexican food I had ever had.

It wasn't the biggest group in the world, big enough to get things done, but small enough to really be close. I started to get to know the guys from Pendleton, and Mo even found a summer fling with a boy from their church. That was when I first met Daimian. He looks a lot like he does now, but with a lot less facial hair. I remember him, I remember his name and what he looked like, though he would remember only my dad, Berry, and Mo, but that story is for a different time.

Baby Daimian

So little facial hair....

Little Dunn

I have a confession to make.
I have baby fever.
Bad.

I have been thinking about babies a lot, pinning baby things on pinterest, thinking of names I like, on and on and on.

Let me say this: I am not pregnant, nor am I trying to get pregnant.

But I have friends who are having babies, my niece just turned eight months old, I am twenty-four and these things cross my mind. The problem is that thinking about these things gives me extreme anxiety and extreme joy all at the same time.

Firstly, the realization that I am bringing a child into the world that is very scary at times. Ebola, ISIS, declining morality, school shootings, its just a nutty place. My faith is tested sometimes thinking about how much I will want to protect the little peanut but you can't protect them from everything.

Not only that, but I really enjoy my husband. Like a lot. I love him more than I even knew I could care for someone. And its just him and I right now. We stay up late watching the shows and movies we like. We have to worry about only feeding ourselves. On Sundays, we get to sleep in a bit because we only have to get ourselves ready for church. If we want to go to dinner just because, we get in the car and we go. We spend money on ourselves. We even have time to take a nap sometimes.

We just enjoy each other and only each other right now.

And I am extremely scared to lose that.

I know I want children. I will be a mom someday. But the thought of it no longer being just him I, just Daimian and Brittany, is unknown territory and honestly a little sad.

Is that normal? Anyone else had these thoughts? Cause at the moment, I feel like a terrible, faithless, selfish human being.

In my head, I know that God is in control, and  I will still have my husband, and once I hold my baby (whenever that is... not now) I will forget all my sadness and it'll be worth it, but right now, today, I am scared for and of a Little Dunn I haven't even met yet.

No Use Crying Over... Egg Rolls?

Last night I cried.
I cried over an egg roll.
Yes, an egg roll... The deep fried pastry stuffed with veggies and pork and dunked in soy sauce.
I don't even like egg rolls that much.
But there I was in the kitchen, tears coming out of my eyeballs.

I am just being honest here, people.

Why in the Moses would I cry over a stupid piece of food?
It wasn't about the egg roll itself... I promise...

I am tired of being addicted to food.

I am tired of passing restaurants on the road and thinking about all the delicousness inside.
I am tired of going into a restaurant, really wanting to make the right decisions in my heart of hearts, but not being able to say no to cheese sticks and Mt. Dew.
I am tired of watching the scale go up and having to buy bigger pants and somehow justifying it in my own mind reaching a new level of denial.
I am tired of it all.

And I am scared.
I am scared that something as ridiculous as food could be so controlling, so consuming.
I am scared that I spent so long not knowing I was addicted.
I am scared that it is something I will never not face.
I am scared that I will never be able to overcome this.
I am scared that I have tried so many times before and failed.
I am scared this time won't be any different.

And so, when I was offered an egg roll, and I knew I had already hit my calories for the day and it wasn't healthy but I wanted it anyways, it was like I had been slapped in the face with all my frustration and fear all at once. Who knows why it was an egg roll that would do that.

But my husband took my hand and he gave me a hug and told me that this time was different. He reassured me that we have more motivation, we are in it together, and we had accountability now.

Addiction sucks. It isn't like heroin, so hear me when I say that. But I have finally come to the understanding that its there and I have to deal with it and I can conquer it.

This time is different. This time I am doing it.

Ghosts and Caution Tape

My husband is a fan of fall.
Like a big fan.
We even chose the fall to get married in because he loves it so much.
And so do I.

This year, he wanted to decorate. Let me give you some context, Mr. D. is a minimalist. When we first got married, I remember one of our first arguments being about the fact that I wanted picture frames on the wall and he thought they were unnecessary. Needless to say, I was shocked when he asked this year if we could decorate.

So he went to the dollar store and found some cheesy Halloween decorations. I am so not into them, but he loves them, so there are cute ghosts on my windows, pumpkins all over (I really don't mind the pumpkins), and caution tape in creepy writing.

I thought it was time I busted out a few less tacky of my own decorations. I have SO many pins on Pinterest, that I decided I should actually do one of these things I pinned. So, I found this sign for fall/Thanksgiving. I wanted to make it easier and less time consuming, so I changed a few things.

This is what I was inspired by, but mine looks a little different. All I needed was a trip to Michael's and a little time in my evening, and boom, I had my own sign.

Here are the things you will need:

• Stretched burlap canvas
• I had never heard of these before, but it is literally what it sounds like... A canvas that has burlap stretched over it to give it a cool look and I didn't have to do it.
• I got a 9x12, but there were so many sizes and they were on sale at Michaels!
• Paint
• I chose two different browns and an orange, but only ended up using dark brown.
• Hot glue gun
• Scissors
• Scrapbook paper in fall-ish colors
• Letters
• Paint Brush
• Jute

I started out by painting my letters since I couldn't find any in the right color. I did three coats because these had black writing that you could see through the paint, but it dried really fast. If you have a fancy machine that will cut out a stencil for you, I am jealous, but these letters were much cheaper than a Cricut.

While those dried all the way, I then cut my scrapbook paper to make my flags. I cut them into rectangles of 3"x 1.5". 

Then I folded them in half (ignore my terribly painted nails)

Lastly, just cut them into a triangle...

I then cut a piece of jute a long as I needed for my canvas size and just hot glued my triangle flags over the jute, like so. 

I then glued on the letters, let those dry, and then glued on the jute . A couple of the flags I also hot glued down, let it dry, and boom, done. That is literally it. 

Here is the finished product hanging on my wall next to my front door. I think it looks very autumn-y (is that a word?) and makes me excited for leaves and boots and Thanksgiving and pumpkins and rain. 

As for the ghosts and caution tape...... Well, I guess I am the best wife ever. 

I have a boyfriend.

I have a boyfriend.
He is handsome, funny, smart, opinionated, nerdy, a Packers fan, picky, and passionate.
He is also my husband.

I had always heard that you have to date your husband, that you should be his girlfriend and his wife for your entire life. But what did that really mean? Why would marriage life be any different than dating life?

In November, it will be four years since we exchanged vows and I became Mrs. Dunn. I understand now the difference. I don't think either one of us gave up or stopped trying or stopped putting out effort, I think that life just happened and we live together and the feeling is different. You fall into a love that is more steady, less butterflies, less nerves, more of a choice rather than a feeling.

This past year, Daimian and I have realized that we had stopped dating. Not that being married is bad, don't get me wrong, but we had gotten so caught up in ministry, family, work, school, life... I had lost my boyfriend and I was a terrible girlfriend.

So, we decided to fix it. I am so blessed to have a man who realized it and wanted to do something about it. I started getting little notes again and texts just because. I would get flowers just because he loves me and he would make sure to take me on dates often, even if it was just the two of us sitting at Chipotle.

The other night, we had fancy date for the first time in a long time. It was just us two, and though money is really tight, he had saved so that we could have a really nice dinner. We were at the restaurant for about two hours just talking, laughing, holding hands, and it felt just like before, when I was still a Morgan and he had no ring on his finger.

Isn't he handsome?

DELICIOUS mushroom ravioli

Dark chocolate and raspberry panna cotta

I don't know what it is about life that we allow it to get in the way of what really matters. How do errands and to-do lists and groceries and homework ever seem more important than the man who chose me out of 7 billion people to love and be with for eternity? 

From this moment on, I vow once again become and remain Daimian Michael Dunn's girlfriend.